The Faery Handbag — with Tamil woven in

நான்naan · I used to போpo · go to thrift stores with என்னோடennoda · my friends. We’d take the train into Boston, and போpo · go to The Garment District, which is இதுidhu · this huge vintage clothing warehouse. Everything is arranged by color, and somehow அதுadhu · it/that makes எல்லாம்ellaam · all of the clothes beautiful. It’s kind of like if நீnee · you went through the wardrobe in the Narnia books, only instead of finding Aslan and the White Witch and horrible Eustace, நீnee · you found இதுidhu · this magic clothing world–instead of talking animals, there were feather boas and wedding dresses and bowling shoes, and paisley shirts and Doc Martens and everything hung up on racks so அதுadhu · it/that first நீnee · you have black dresses, எல்லாம்ellaam · all together, like the world’s largest indoor funeral, and then blue dresses–எல்லாம்ellaam · all the blues நீnee · you can imagine–and then red dresses and so on. Pink-reds and orangey reds and purple-reds and exit-light reds and candy reds. Sometimes நான்naan · I would close என்னோடennoda · my eyes and Natasha and Natalie and Jake would drag என்னைennai · me over to a rack, and rub a dress against என்னோடennoda · my hand. “Guess என்னenna · what color இதுidhu · this is.”

We had இதுidhu · this theory அதுadhu · it/that நீnee · you could learn how to tell, just by feeling, என்னenna · what color something was. For example, if நீnee · you’re sitting on a lawn, நீnee · you can tell என்னenna · what color green the grass is, with your eyes closed, depending on how silky-rubbery அதுadhu · it/that feels. With clothing, stretchy velvet stuff always feels red when your eyes are closed, even if it’s இல்லilla · not/no red. Natasha was always best at guessing colors, but Natasha is also best at cheating at games and இல்லilla · not/no getting caught.

One time நம்மnamma · we were looking through kid’s t-shirts and நம்மnamma · we found a Muppets t-shirt அதுadhu · it/that had belonged to Natalie in third grade. We knew அதுadhu · it/that belonged to her, because அதுadhu · it/that still had her name inside, where her mother had written அதுadhu · it/that in permanent marker, when Natalie went to summer camp. Jake bought it back for her, because அவன்avan · he was the only ஒண்ணுonnu · one who had money that weekend. He was the only ஒண்ணுonnu · one who had a job.

Maybe நீnee · you’re wondering what a guy like Jake is doing in The Garment District with a bunch of girls. The thing about Jake is அதுadhu · it/that அவன்avan · he always has a நல்லாnallaa · good time, இல்லilla · not/no matter what he’s doing. He likes everything, and he likes everyone, but he likes என்னைennai · me best of எல்லாம்ellaam · all. Wherever he is இப்பippa · now, நான்naan · I bet he’s having a great time and wondering when I’m going to show up. I’m always running late. But he knows that.

We had இதுidhu · this theory அதுadhu · it/that things have life cycles, the way அதுadhu · it/that ஜனங்கjananga · people do. The life cycle of wedding dresses and feather boas and t-shirts and shoes and handbags involves the Garment District. If clothes are நல்லாnallaa · good, or even if அவங்கavanga · they’re bad in an interesting way, the Garment District is where அவங்கavanga · they போpo · go when அவங்கavanga · they die. You can tell அதுadhu · it/that they’re dead, because of the way that they smell. When நீnee · you buy them, and wash them, and start wearing them again, and they start to smell like நீnee · you, that’s when they reincarnate. But the point is, if நீnee · you’re looking for a particular thing, நீnee · you just have to keep looking for it. You have to look hard.

Down in the basement at the Garment Factory அவங்கavanga · they sell clothing and beat-up suitcases and teacups by the pound. You can get eight pounds worth of prom dresses–a slinky black dress, a poufy lavender dress, a swirly pink dress, a silvery, starry lame dress so fine நீnee · you could pass அதுadhu · it/that through a key ring– for eight dollars. நான்naan · I போpo · go there every week, hunting for Grandmother Zofia’s faery handbag.

The faery handbag: It’s huge and black and kind of hairy. Even when your eyes are closed, அதுadhu · it/that feels black. As black as black ever gets, like if நீnee · you touch அதுadhu · it/that, your hand might get stuck in அதுadhu · it/that, like tar or black quicksand or when நீnee · you stretch out your hand at night, to turn on a light, but எல்லாம்ellaam · all நீnee · you feel is darkness.

Fairies live inside அதுadhu · it/that. நான்naan · I know what that sounds like, but it’s true.

Grandmother Zofia சொன்னாங்கsonnaanga · said அதுadhu · it/that was a family heirloom. She said that it was over two hundred years old. She said that when அவava · she died, நான்naan · I had to look after it. Be its guardian. She said that it would be என்னோடennoda · my responsibility.

நான்naan · I சொன்னாங்கsonnaanga · said அதுadhu · it/that it didn’t look that old, and that அவங்கavanga · they didn’t have handbag two hundred years ago, but that just made her cross. She said, “So then tell என்னைennai · me, Genevieve, darling, where do நீnee · you think old ladies used to put their reading glasses and their heart medicine and their knitting needles?”

நான்naan · I தெரியும்theriyum · know அதுadhu · it/that இல்லilla · not/no ஒண்ணுonnu · one is going to believe any of இதுidhu · this. That’s okay. If நான்naan · I thought நீnee · you would, then I couldn’t tell நீnee · you. Promise என்னைennai · me அதுadhu · it/that you won’t believe a word. That’s என்னenna · what Zofia used to say to என்னைennai · me when அவava · she told me stories. At the funeral, என்னோடennoda · my mother சொன்னாங்கsonnaanga · said, half-laughing and half-crying, that her mother was the world’s best liar. I think அவava · she thought maybe Zofia wasn’t really dead. But I went up to Zofia’s coffin, and I looked her right in the eyes. They were closed. The funeral parlor had made her up with blue eyeshadow, and blue eyeliner. She looked like she was going to be a news anchor on Fox television, instead of dead. It was creepy and it made me even sadder than I already was. But I didn’t let that distract me.

“Okay, Zofia,” நான்naan · I whispered. “I know நீnee · you’re dead, but இதுidhu · this is important. You know exactly how important this is. Where’s the handbag? What did you do with அதுadhu · it/that? How do I find it? What am I supposed to do இப்பippa · now?”

Of course அவava · she didn’t say a word. She just lay there, இதுidhu · this little smile on her face, as if அவava · she thought the whole thing–death, blue eyeshadow, Jake, the handbag, faeries, Scrabble, Baldeziwurlekistan, எல்லாம்ellaam · all of அதுadhu · it/that–was a joke. She always did have a weird sense of humor. That’s why அவava · she and Jake got along so well.

நான்naan · I grew up in a house next door to the house where என்னோடennoda · my mother lived when அவava · she was a little girl. Her mother, Zofia Swink, my grandmother, babysat என்னைennai · me while my mother and father were at work.

Zofia never looked like a grandmother. She had long black hair which அவava · she wore up in little, braided, spiky towers and plaits. She had large blue eyes. She was taller than என்னோடennoda · my father. She looked like a spy or ballerina or a lady pirate or a rock star. She acted like ஒண்ணுonnu · one too. For example, அவava · she never drove anywhere. She rode a bike. It drove என்னோடennoda · my mother crazy. “Why can’t நீnee · you act your age?” அவava · she’d say, and Zofia would just laugh.

Zofia and நான்naan · I played Scrabble எல்லாம்ellaam · all the time. Zofia always won, even though her English wasn’t எல்லாம்ellaam · all அதுadhu · it/that great, because நம்மnamma · we’d decided அதுadhu · it/that அவava · she was allowed to use Baldeziwurleki vocabulary. Baldeziwurlekistan is where Zofia was born, over two hundred years ago. That’s என்னenna · what Zofia சொன்னாங்கsonnaanga · said. (My grandmother claimed to be over two hundred years old. Or maybe even older. Sometimes அவava · she claimed that she’d even met Ghenghis Khan. He was much shorter than her. நான்naan · I probably don’t have time to tell that story.) Baldeziwurlekistan is also an incredibly valuable word in Scrabble points, even though it doesn’t exactly fit on the board. Zofia put it down the first time நம்மnamma · we played. I was feeling pretty நல்லாnallaa · good because I’d gotten forty-ஒண்ணுonnu · one points for “zippery” on என்னோடennoda · my turn.

Zofia kept rearranging her letters on her tray. Then அவava · she looked over at என்னைennai · me, as if daring என்னைennai · me to stop her, and put down “eziwurlekistan”, after “bald.” She used “delicious,” “zippery,” “wishes,” “kismet”, and “needle,” and made “to” into “toe”. “Baldeziwurlekistan” went எல்லாம்ellaam · all the way across the board and then trailed off down the righthand side.

“நான்naan · I used up all my letters,” Zofia சொன்னாங்கsonnaanga · said. She licked her pencil and started adding up points.

“That’s இல்லilla · not/no a word,” நான்naan · I said. “Baldeziwurlekistan is not a word. Besides, நீnee · you can’t do அதுadhu · it/that. You can’t put an eighteen letter word on a board that’s fifteen squares across.”

“Why இல்லilla · not/no? It’s a country,” Zofia said. “It’s where நான்naan · I was born, little darling.”

“Challenge,” நான்naan · I said. I went and got the dictionary and looked அதுadhu · it/that up. “There’s no such place.”

“Of course there isn’t nowadays,” Zofia சொன்னாங்கsonnaanga · said. “It wasn’t a very big place, even when அதுadhu · it/that was a place. But நீnee · you’ve heard of Samarkand, and Uzbekistan and the Silk Road and Ghenghis Khan. Haven’t நான்naan · I told நீnee · you about meeting Ghenghis Khan?”

நான்naan · I looked up Samarkand. “Okay,” I சொன்னாங்கsonnaanga · said. “Samarkand is a real place. A real word. But Baldeziwurlekistan isn’t.”

“They call அதுadhu · it/that something else இப்பippa · now,” Zofia சொன்னாங்கsonnaanga · said. “But நான்naan · I think அதுadhu · it/that’s important to remember where நம்மnamma · we வாvaa · come from. நான்naan · I think it’s only fair that I get to use Baldeziwurleki words. Your English is so much better than என்னைennai · me. Promise me something, mouthful of dumpling, a small, small thing. You’ll remember its real name. Baldeziwurlekistan. Now when I add it up, I get three hundred and sixty-eight points. Could that be right?”

If நீnee · you called the faery handbag by its right name, அதுadhu · it/that would be something like “orzipanikanikcz,” which means the “bag of skin where the world lives,” only Zofia never spelled அதுadhu · it/that word the same way twice. She சொன்னாங்கsonnaanga · said நீnee · you had to spell அதுadhu · it/that a little differently each time. You never wanted to spell அதுadhu · it/that exactly the right way, because அதுadhu · it/that would be dangerous.

நான்naan · I called அதுadhu · it/that the faery handbag because I put “faery” down on the Scrabble board once. Zofia சொன்னாங்கsonnaanga · said that நீnee · you spelled it with an “i,” இல்லilla · not/no an “e”. She looked it up in the dictionary, and lost a turn.

Zofia சொன்னாங்கsonnaanga · said அதுadhu · it/that in Baldeziwurlekistan அவங்கavanga · they used a board and tiles for divination, prognostication, and sometimes even just for fun. She சொன்னாங்கsonnaanga · said அதுadhu · it/that was a little like playing Scrabble. That’s probably why அவava · she turned out to be so நல்லாnallaa · good at Scrabble. The Baldeziwurlekistanians used their tiles and board to communicate with the ஜனங்கjananga · people who lived under the hill. The ஜனங்கjananga · people who lived under the hill knew the future. The Baldeziwurlekistanians gave them fermented milk and honey, and the young women of the village used to போpo · go and lie out on the hill and sleep under the stars. Apparently the ஜனங்கjananga · people under the hill were pretty cute. The important thing was அதுadhu · it/that நீnee · you never went down into the hill and spent the night there, இல்லilla · not/no matter how cute the guy from under the hill was. If நீnee · you did, even if நீnee · you only spent a single night under the hill, when நீnee · you came out again a hundred years might have passed. “Remember அதுadhu · it/that,” Zofia சொன்னாங்கsonnaanga · said to என்னைennai · me. “It doesn’t matter how cute a guy is. If அவன்avan · he wants நீnee · you to வாvaa · come back to his place, it isn’t a நல்லாnallaa · good idea. It’s okay to fool around, but don’t spend the night.”

Every once in a while, a woman from under the hill would marry a man from the village, even though அதுadhu · it/that never ended well. The problem was அதுadhu · it/that the women under the hill were terrible cooks. They couldn’t get used to the way time worked in the village, which meant அதுadhu · it/that supper always got burnt, or else அதுadhu · it/that wasn’t cooked long enough. But அவங்கavanga · they couldn’t stand to be criticized. It hurt their feelings. If their village husband complained, or even if அவன்avan · he looked like அவன்avan · he wanted to complain, அதுadhu · it/that was அதுadhu · it/that. The woman from under the hill went back to her home, and even if her husband went and begged and pleaded and apologized, அதுadhu · it/that might be three years or thirty years or a few generations before அவava · she came back out.

Even the best, happiest marriages between the Baldeziwurlekistanians and the ஜனங்கjananga · people under the hill fell apart when the children got old enough to complain about dinner. But everyone in the village had some hill blood in them.

“It’s in நீnee · you,” Zofia சொன்னாங்கsonnaanga · said, and kissed me on the nose. “Passed down from my grandmother and her mother. It’s why நம்மnamma · we’re so beautiful.”

When Zofia was nineteen, the shaman-priestess in her village threw the tiles and discovered அதுadhu · it/that something bad was going to happen. A raiding party was coming. There was இல்லilla · not/no point in fighting them. They would burn down everyone’s houses and take the young men and women for slaves. And அதுadhu · it/that was even worse than அதுadhu · it/that. There was going to be an earthquake as well, which was bad news because usually, when raiders showed up, the village went down under the hill for a night and when அவங்கavanga · they came out again the raiders would have been gone for months or decades or even a hundred years. But இதுidhu · this earthquake was going to split the hill right open.

The ஜனங்கjananga · people under the hill were in trouble. Their home would be destroyed, and அவங்கavanga · they would be doomed to roam the face of the earth, weeping and lamenting their fate until the sun blew out and the sky cracked and the seas boiled and the ஜனங்கjananga · people dried up and turned to dust and blew away. So the shaman-priestess went and divined some more, and the ஜனங்கjananga · people under the hill told her to kill a black dog and skin அதுadhu · it/that and use the skin to make a purse big enough to hold a chicken, an egg, and a cooking pot. So அவava · she did, and then the ஜனங்கjananga · people under the hill made the inside of the purse big enough to hold எல்லாம்ellaam · all of the village and எல்லாம்ellaam · all of the ஜனங்கjananga · people under the hill and mountains and forests and seas and rivers and lakes and orchards and a sky and stars and spirits and fabulous monsters and sirens and dragons and dryads and mermaids and beasties and எல்லாம்ellaam · all the little gods அதுadhu · it/that the Baldeziwurlekistanians and the ஜனங்கjananga · people under the hill worshipped.

“Your purse is made out of dog skin?” நான்naan · I said. “That’s disgusting!”

“Little dear pet,” Zofia சொன்னாங்கsonnaanga · said, looking wistful, “Dog is delicious. To Baldeziwurlekistanians, dog is a delicacy.”

Before the raiding party arrived, the village packed up எல்லாம்ellaam · all of their belongings and moved into the handbag. The clasp was made out of bone. If நீnee · you opened அதுadhu · it/that ஒண்ணுonnu · one way, then அதுadhu · it/that was just a purse big enough to hold a chicken and an egg and a clay cooking pot, or else a pair of reading glasses and a library book and a pillbox. If நீnee · you opened the clasp another way, then நீnee · you found yourself in a little boat floating at the mouth of a river. On either side of நீnee · you was forest, where the Baldeziwurlekistanian villagers and the ஜனங்கjananga · people under the hill made their new settlement.

If நீnee · you opened the handbag the wrong way, though, நீnee · you found yourself in a dark land அதுadhu · it/that smelled like blood. That’s where the guardian of the purse (the dog whose skin had been been sewn into a purse) lived. The guardian had இல்லilla · not/no skin. Its howl made blood வாvaa · come out of your ears and nose. It tore apart anyone who turned the clasp in the opposite direction and opened the purse in the wrong way.

“Here is the wrong way to open the handbag,” Zofia சொன்னாங்கsonnaanga · said. She twisted the clasp, showing என்னைennai · me how அவava · she did அதுadhu · it/that. She opened the mouth of the purse, but இல்லilla · not/no very wide and held அதுadhu · it/that up to me. “Go ahead, darling, and listen for a second.”

நான்naan · I put my head near the handbag, but இல்லilla · not/no too near. I didn’t hear anything. “I don’t hear anything,” I சொன்னாங்கsonnaanga · said.

“The poor dog is probably asleep,” Zofia சொன்னாங்கsonnaanga · said. “Even nightmares have to sleep இப்பippa · now and then.”

After அவன்avan · he got expelled, everybody at school called Jake Houdini instead of Jake. Everybody except for என்னைennai · me. நான்naan · I’ll explain why, but நீnee · you have to be patient. It’s hard work telling everything in the right order.

Jake is smarter and also taller than most of our teachers. Not quite as tall as என்னைennai · me. We’ve known each other since third grade. Jake has always been in love with என்னைennai · me. He says அவன்avan · he was in love with என்னைennai · me even before third grade, even before நம்மnamma · we ever met. It took என்னைennai · me a while to fall in love with Jake.

In third grade, Jake knew everything already, except how to make friends. He used to follow என்னைennai · me around எல்லாம்ellaam · all day long. It made என்னைennai · me so mad அதுadhu · it/that நான்naan · I kicked him in the knee. When அதுadhu · it/that didn’t work, நான்naan · I threw his backpack out of the window of the school bus. That didn’t work either, but the next year Jake took some tests and the school decided அதுadhu · it/that அவன்avan · he could skip fourth and fifth grade. Even நான்naan · I felt sorry for Jake then. Sixth grade didn’t work out. When the sixth graders wouldn’t stop flushing his head down the toilet, அவன்avan · he went out and caught a skunk and set அதுadhu · it/that loose in the boy’s locker room.

The school was going to suspend him for the rest of the year, but instead Jake took two years off while his mother home-schooled him. He learned Latin and Hebrew and Greek, how to write sestinas, how to make sushi, how to play bridge, and even how to knit. He learned fencing and ballroom dancing. He worked in a soup kitchen and made a Super Eight movie about Civil War reenactors who play extreme croquet in full costume instead of firing off cannons. He started learning how to play guitar. He even wrote a novel. நான்naan · I’ve never read அதுadhu · it/that–அவன்avan · he says அதுadhu · it/that was awful.

When அவன்avan · he came back two years later, because his mother had cancer for the first time, the school put him back with our year, in seventh grade. He was still way too smart, but அவன்avan · he was finally smart enough to figure out how to fit in. Plus அவன்avan · he was நல்லாnallaa · good at soccer and அவன்avan · he was really cute. Did நான்naan · I mention அதுadhu · it/that அவன்avan · he played guitar? Every girl in school had a crush on Jake, but அவன்avan · he used to வாvaa · come home after school with என்னைennai · me and play Scrabble with Zofia and ask her about Baldeziwurlekistan.

Jake’s mom was named Cynthia. She collected ceramic frogs and knock-knock jokes. When நம்மnamma · we were in ninth grade, அவava · she had cancer again. When அவava · she died, Jake smashed எல்லாம்ellaam · all of her frogs. That was the first funeral நான்naan · I ever went to. A few months later, Jake’s father asked Jake’s fencing teacher out on a date. They got married right after the school expelled Jake for his AP project on Houdini. That was the first wedding நான்naan · I ever went to. Jake and நான்naan · I stole a bottle of wine and drank அதுadhu · it/that, and நான்naan · I threw up in the swimming pool at the country club. Jake threw up எல்லாம்ellaam · all over என்னோடennoda · my shoes.

So, anyway, the village and the ஜனங்கjananga · people under the hill lived happily every after for a few weeks in the handbag, which அவங்கavanga · they had tied around a rock in a dry well which the ஜனங்கjananga · people under the hill had determined would survive the earthquake. But some of the Baldeziwurlekistanians wanted to வாvaa · come out again and see என்னenna · what was going on in the world. Zofia was ஒண்ணுonnu · one of them. It had been summer when அவங்கavanga · they went into the bag, but when அவங்கavanga · they came out again, and climbed out of the well, snow was falling and their village was ruins and crumbly old rubble. They walked through the snow, Zofia carrying the handbag, until அவங்கavanga · they came to another village, ஒண்ணுonnu · one அதுadhu · it/that அவங்கavanga · they’d never seen before. Everyone in அதுadhu · it/that village was packing up their belongings and leaving, which gave Zofia and her friends a bad feeling. It seemed to be just the same as when அவங்கavanga · they went into the handbag.

They followed the refugees, who seemed to தெரியும்theriyum · know where அவங்கavanga · they were going, and finally everyone came to a city. Zofia had ever seen such a place. There were trains and electric lights and movie theaters, and there were ஜனங்கjananga · people shooting each other. Bombs were falling. A war going on. Most of the villagers decided to climb right back inside the handbag, but Zofia volunteered to stay in the world and look after the handbag. She had fallen in love with movies and silk stockings and with a young man, a Russian deserter.

Zofia and the Russian deserter married and had many adventures and finally came to America, where என்னோடennoda · my mother was born. Now and then Zofia would consult the tiles and talk to the ஜனங்கjananga · people who lived in the handbag and அவங்கavanga · they would tell her how best to avoid trouble and how அவava · she and her husband could make some money. Every இப்பippa · now and then ஒண்ணுonnu · one of the Baldeziwurlekistanians, or ஒண்ணுonnu · one of the ஜனங்கjananga · people from under the hill came out of the handbag and wanted to போpo · go grocery shopping, or to a movie or an amusement park to ride on roller coasters, or to the library.

The more advice Zofia gave her husband, the more money அவங்கavanga · they made. Her husband became curious about Zofia’s handbag, because அவன்avan · he could see அதுadhu · it/that there was something odd about அதுadhu · it/that, but Zofia told him to mind his own business. He began to spy on Zofia, and saw அதுadhu · it/that strange men and women were coming in and out of the வீடுveedu · house. He became convinced அதுadhu · it/that either Zofia was a spy for the Communists, or maybe அதுadhu · it/that அவava · she was having affairs. They fought and அவன்avan · he drank more and more, and finally அவன்avan · he threw away her divination tiles. “Russians make bad husbands,” Zofia told என்னைennai · me. Finally, ஒண்ணுonnu · one night while Zofia was sleeping, her husband opened the bone clasp and climbed inside the handbag.

“நான்naan · I thought அவன்avan · he’d left என்னைennai · me,” Zofia சொன்னாங்கsonnaanga · said. “For almost twenty years I thought he’d left me and your mother and taken off for California. Not அதுadhu · it/that I minded. I was tired of being married and cooking dinners and cleaning வீடுveedu · house for someone else. It’s better to cook என்னenna · what I வேணும்venum · want to eat, and clean up when I decide to clean up. It was harder on your mother, இல்லilla · not/no having a father. That was the part that I minded most.

“Then அதுadhu · it/that turned out அதுadhu · it/that அவன்avan · he hadn’t run away after எல்லாம்ellaam · all. He’d spent ஒண்ணுonnu · one night in the handbag and then வாvaa · come out again twenty years later, exactly as handsome as நான்naan · I remembered, and enough time had passed அதுadhu · it/that நான்naan · I had forgiven him எல்லாம்ellaam · all the quarrels. We made up and it was எல்லாம்ellaam · all very romantic and then when நம்மnamma · we had another fight the next morning, அவன்avan · he went and kissed your mother, who had slept right through his visit, on the cheek, and then அவன்avan · he climbed right back inside the handbag. நான்naan · I didn’t see him again for another twenty years. The last time he showed up, நம்மnamma · we went to see “Star Wars” and he liked it so much that he went back inside the handbag to tell everyone else about it. In a couple of years அவங்கavanga · they’ll all show up and வேணும்venum · want to see it on video and all of the sequels too.”

“Tell them not to bother with the prequels,” நான்naan · I said.

The thing about Zofia and libraries is அதுadhu · it/that அவava · she’s always losing library books. She says அதுadhu · it/that அவava · she hasn’t lost them, and in fact அதுadhu · it/that அவங்கavanga · they aren’t even overdue, really. It’s just அதுadhu · it/that even ஒண்ணுonnu · one week inside the faery handbag is a lot longer in library-world time. So என்னenna · what is அவava · she supposed to do about it? The librarians எல்லாம்ellaam · all hate Zofia. She’s banned from using any of the branches in our area. When நான்naan · I was eight, அவava · she got என்னைennai · me to போpo · go to the library for her and check out a bunch of biographies and science books and some Georgette Heyer romance novels. My mother was livid when she found out, but it was too late. Zofia had already misplaced most of them.

It’s really hard to write about somebody as if அவங்கavanga · they’re really dead. நான்naan · I still think Zofia must be sitting in her living room, in her வீடுveedu · house, watching some old horror movie, dropping popcorn into her handbag. She’s waiting for என்னைennai · me to வாvaa · come over and play Scrabble.

Nobody is ever going to return those library books இப்பippa · now.

My mother used to வாvaa · come home from work and roll her eyes. “Have நீnee · you been telling them your fairy stories?” அவava · she’d say. “Genevieve, your grandmother is a horrible liar.”

Zofia would fold up the Scrabble board and shrug at என்னைennai · me and Jake. “நான்naan · I’m a wonderful liar,” அவava · she’d say. “I’m the best liar in the world. Promise me நீnee · you won’t believe a single word.”

But அவava · she wouldn’t tell the story of the faery handbag to Jake. Only the old Baldeziwurlekistanian folktales and fairytales about the ஜனங்கjananga · people under the hill. She told him about how அவava · she and her husband made அதுadhu · it/that எல்லாம்ellaam · all the way across Europe, hiding in haystacks and in barns, and how once, when her husband went off to find food, a farmer found her hiding in his chicken coop and tried to rape her. But அவava · she opened up the faery handbag in the way அவava · she showed என்னைennai · me, and the dog came out and ate the farmer and எல்லாம்ellaam · all his chickens too.

She was teaching Jake and என்னைennai · me how to curse in Baldeziwurleki. நான்naan · I also know how to say I love நீnee · you, but I’m இல்லilla · not/no going to ever say அதுadhu · it/that to anyone again, except to Jake, when I find him.

When நான்naan · I was eight, நான்naan · I believed everything Zofia told என்னைennai · me. By the time நான்naan · I was thirteen, நான்naan · I didn’t believe a single word. When நான்naan · I was fifteen, I saw a man வாvaa · come out of her வீடுveedu · house and get on Zofia’s three-speed bicycle and ride down the street. His clothes looked funny. He was a lot younger than என்னோடennoda · my mother and father, and even though I’d never seen him before, அவன்avan · he was familiar. I followed him on என்னோடennoda · my bike, எல்லாம்ellaam · all the way to the grocery store. I waited just past the checkout lanes while அவன்avan · he bought peanut butter, Jack Daniels, half a dozen instant cameras, and at least sixty packs of Reeses Peanut Butter Cups, three bags of Hershey’s kisses, a handful of Milky Way bars and other stuff from the rack of checkout candy. While the checkout clerk was helping him bag up எல்லாம்ellaam · all of அதுadhu · it/that chocolate, அவன்avan · he looked up and saw என்னைennai · me. “Genevieve?” அவன்avan · he சொன்னாங்கsonnaanga · said. “That’s your name, right?”

நான்naan · I turned and ran out of the store. He grabbed up the bags and ran after என்னைennai · me. நான்naan · I don’t even think அவன்avan · he got his change back. I was still running away, and then ஒண்ணுonnu · one of the straps on என்னோடennoda · my flip flops popped out of the sole, the way அவங்கavanga · they do, and அதுadhu · it/that made me really angry so I just stopped. I turned around.

“Who are you?” நான்naan · I said.

But நான்naan · I already knew. He looked like அவன்avan · he could have been என்னோடennoda · my mom’s younger brother. He was really cute. நான்naan · I could see why Zofia had fallen in love with him.

His name was Rustan. Zofia told என்னோடennoda · my parents அதுadhu · it/that அவன்avan · he was an expert in Baldeziwurlekistanian folklore who would be staying with her for a few days. She brought him over for dinner. Jake was there too, and நான்naan · I could tell அதுadhu · it/that Jake knew something was up. Everybody except என்னோடennoda · my dad knew something was going on.

“You mean Baldeziwurlekistan is a real place?” என்னோடennoda · my mother asked Rustan. “My mother is telling the truth?”

நான்naan · I could see அதுadhu · it/that Rustan was having a hard time with அதுadhu · it/that ஒண்ணுonnu · one. He obviously wanted to say that his wife was a horrible liar, but then where would அவன்avan · he be? Then he couldn’t be the person that he was supposed to be.

There were probably a lot of things அதுadhu · it/that he wanted to say. What he சொன்னாங்கsonnaanga · said was, “This is really நல்லாnallaa · good pizza.”

Rustan took a lot of pictures at dinner. The next day நான்naan · I went with him to get the pictures developed. He’d brought back some film with him, with pictures அவன்avan · he’d taken inside the faery handbag, but those didn’t வாvaa · come out well. Maybe the film was too old. We got doubles of the pictures from dinner so அதுadhu · it/that நான்naan · I could have some too. There’s a great picture of Jake, sitting outside on the porch. He’s laughing, and அவன்avan · he has his hand up to his mouth, like அவன்avan · he’s going to catch the laugh. நான்naan · I have அதுadhu · it/that picture up on என்னோடennoda · my computer, and also up on என்னோடennoda · my wall over என்னோடennoda · my bed.

நான்naan · I bought a Cadbury Cream Egg for Rustan. Then நம்மnamma · we shook hands and அவன்avan · he kissed என்னைennai · me once on each cheek. “Give ஒண்ணுonnu · one of those kisses to your mother,” அவன்avan · he சொன்னாங்கsonnaanga · said, and நான்naan · I thought about how the next time நான்naan · I saw him, I might be Zofia’s age, and he would only be a few days older. The next time I saw him, Zofia would be dead. Jake and I might have kids. That was too weird.

நான்naan · I know Rustan tried to get Zofia to go with him, to live in the handbag, but அவava · she wouldn’t.

“It makes என்னைennai · me dizzy in there,” அவava · she used to tell me. “And அவங்கavanga · they don’t have movie theaters. And நான்naan · I have to look after your mother and நீnee · you. Maybe when you’re old enough to look after the handbag, I’ll poke என்னோடennoda · my head inside, just long enough for a little visit.”

நான்naan · I didn’t fall in love with Jake because அவன்avan · he was smart. I’m pretty smart myself. I know அதுadhu · it/that smart doesn’t mean nice, or even mean that நீnee · you have a lot of common sense. Look at எல்லாம்ellaam · all the trouble smart people get themselves into.

நான்naan · I didn’t fall in love with Jake because அவன்avan · he could make maki rolls and had a black belt in fencing, or whatever அதுadhu · it/that is that நீnee · you get if you’re நல்லாnallaa · good in fencing. நான்naan · I didn’t fall in love with Jake because he plays guitar. He’s a better soccer player than he is a guitar player.

Those were the reasons why நான்naan · I went out on a date with Jake. That, and because அவன்avan · he asked என்னைennai · me. He asked if நான்naan · I wanted to போpo · go see a movie, and நான்naan · I asked if I could bring என்னோடennoda · my grandmother and Natalie and Natasha. He சொன்னாங்கsonnaanga · said sure and so எல்லாம்ellaam · all five of us sat and watched “Bring It On” and every once in a while Zofia dropped a couple of milk duds or some popcorn into her purse. I don’t தெரியும்theriyum · know if அவava · she was feeding the dog, or if அவava · she’d opened the purse the right way, and was throwing food at her husband.

நான்naan · I fell in love with Jake because அவன்avan · he told stupid knock-knock jokes to Natalie, and told Natasha அதுadhu · it/that அவன்avan · he liked her jeans. நான்naan · I fell in love with Jake when அவன்avan · he took என்னைennai · me and Zofia home. He walked her up to her front door and then he walked என்னைennai · me up to mine. நான்naan · I fell in love with Jake when he didn’t try to kiss me. The thing is, I was nervous about the whole kissing thing. Most guys think அதுadhu · it/that அவங்கavanga · they’re better at அதுadhu · it/that than அவங்கavanga · they really are. Not that I think I’m a real genius at kissing either, but I don’t think kissing should be a competitive sport. It isn’t tennis.

Natalie and Natasha and நான்naan · I used to practice kissing with each other. Not அதுadhu · it/that நம்மnamma · we like each other அதுadhu · it/that way, but just for practice. We got pretty நல்லாnallaa · good at it. We could see why kissing was supposed to be fun.

But Jake didn’t try to kiss me. Instead he just gave me இதுidhu · this really big hug. He put his face in my hair and he sighed. We stood there like அதுadhu · it/that, and then finally நான்naan · I சொன்னாங்கsonnaanga · said, “What are நீnee · you doing?”

“நான்naan · I just wanted to smell your hair,” he said.

“Oh,” நான்naan · I சொன்னாங்கsonnaanga · said. That made என்னைennai · me feel weird, but in a நல்லாnallaa · good way. I put என்னோடennoda · my nose up to his hair, which is brown and curly, and I smelled அதுadhu · it/that. We stood there and smelled each other’s hair, and I felt so good. I felt so happy.

Jake said into my hair, “Do நீnee · you know that actor John Cusack?”

நான்naan · I said, “Yeah. One of Zofia’s favorite movies is ‘Better Off Dead.’ We watch அதுadhu · it/that all the time.”

“So அவன்avan · he likes to go up to women and smell their armpits.”

“Gross!” நான்naan · I said. “That’s such a lie! What are நீnee · you doing now? That tickles.”

“நான்naan · I’m smelling your ear,” Jake said.

Jake’s hair smelled like iced tea with honey in அதுadhu · it/that, after எல்லாம்ellaam · all the ice has melted.

Kissing Jake is like kissing Natalie or Natasha, except அதுadhu · it/that அதுadhu · it/that isn’t just for fun. It feels like something there isn’t a word for in Scrabble.

The deal with Houdini is அதுadhu · it/that Jake got interested in him during Advanced Placement American History. He and நான்naan · I were both put in tenth grade history. We were doing biography projects. நான்naan · I was studying Joseph McCarthy. My grandmother had எல்லாம்ellaam · all sorts of stories about McCarthy. She hated him for என்னenna · what அவன்avan · he did to Hollywood.

Jake didn’t turn in his project–instead அவன்avan · he told everyone in our AP class except for Mr. Streep (நம்மnamma · we call him Meryl) to meet him at the gym on Saturday. When நம்மnamma · we showed up, Jake reenacted ஒண்ணுonnu · one of Houdini’s escapes with a laundry bag, handcuffs, a gym locker, bicycle chains, and the school’s swimming pool. It took him three and a half minutes to get free, and இதுidhu · this guy named Roger took a bunch of photos and then put the photos online. One of the photos ended up in the Boston Globe, and Jake got expelled. The really ironic thing was அதுadhu · it/that while his mom was in the hospital, Jake had applied to M.நான்naan · I.T. He did அதுadhu · it/that for his mom. He thought அதுadhu · it/that way அவava · she’d have to stay alive. She was so excited about M.நான்naan · I.T. A couple of days after அவன்avan · he’d been expelled, right after the wedding, while his dad and the fencing instructor were in Bermuda, அவன்avan · he got an acceptance letter in the mail and a phone call from இதுidhu · this guy in the admissions office who explained why அவங்கavanga · they had to withdraw the acceptance.

My mother wanted to தெரியும்theriyum · know why நான்naan · I let Jake wrap himself up in bicycle chains and then watched while Peter and Michael pushed him into the deep end of the school pool. நான்naan · I சொன்னாங்கsonnaanga · said அதுadhu · it/that Jake had a backup plan. Ten more seconds and நம்மnamma · we were எல்லாம்ellaam · all going to jump into the pool and open the locker and get him out of there. I was crying when I சொன்னாங்கsonnaanga · said அதுadhu · it/that. Even before அவன்avan · he got in the locker, I knew how stupid Jake was being. Afterwards, அவன்avan · he promised என்னைennai · me that he’d never do anything like that again.

That was when நான்naan · I told him about Zofia’s husband, Rustan, and about Zofia’s handbag. How stupid am நான்naan · I?

So நான்naan · I guess நீnee · you can figure out என்னenna · what happened next. The problem is அதுadhu · it/that Jake believed என்னைennai · me about the handbag. We spent a lot of time over at Zofia’s, playing Scrabble. Zofia never let the faery handbag out of her sight. She even took அதுadhu · it/that with her when அவava · she went to the bathroom. நான்naan · I think she even slept with it under her pillow.

நான்naan · I didn’t tell her அதுadhu · it/that நான்naan · I’d சொன்னாங்கsonnaanga · said anything to Jake. I wouldn’t ever have told anybody else about அதுadhu · it/that. Not Natasha. Not even Natalie, who is the most responsible person in எல்லாம்ellaam · all of the world. Now, of course, if the handbag turns up and Jake still hasn’t வாvaa · come back, I’ll have to tell Natalie. Somebody has to keep an eye on the stupid thing while I போpo · go find Jake.

What worries என்னைennai · me is அதுadhu · it/that maybe ஒண்ணுonnu · one of the Baldeziwurlekistanians or one of the ஜனங்கjananga · people under the hill or maybe even Rustan popped out of the handbag to run an errand and got worried when Zofia wasn’t there. Maybe அவங்கavanga · they’ll வாvaa · come looking for her and bring அதுadhu · it/that back. Maybe அவங்கavanga · they தெரியும்theriyum · know நான்naan · I’m supposed to look after it இப்பippa · now. Or maybe they took it and hid it somewhere. Maybe someone turned it in at the lost-and-found at the library and that stupid librarian called the F.B.நான்naan · I. Maybe scientists at the Pentagon are examining the handbag right now. Testing it. If Jake comes out, they’ll think அவன்avan · he’s a spy or a superweapon or an alien or something. They’re இல்லilla · not/no going to just let him போpo · go.

Everyone thinks Jake ran away, except for என்னோடennoda · my mother, who is convinced அதுadhu · it/that அவன்avan · he was trying out another Houdini escape and is probably lying at the bottom of a lake somewhere. She hasn’t சொன்னாங்கsonnaanga · said that to என்னைennai · me, but நான்naan · I can see her thinking it. She keeps making cookies for me.

What happened is அதுadhu · it/that Jake said, “Can நான்naan · I see that for just a second?”

He சொன்னாங்கsonnaanga · said அதுadhu · it/that so casually அதுadhu · it/that நான்naan · I think அவன்avan · he caught Zofia off guard. She was reaching into the purse for her wallet. We were standing in the lobby of the movie theater on a Monday morning. Jake was behind the snack counter. He’d gotten a job there. He was wearing இதுidhu · this stupid red paper hat and some kind of apron-bib thing. He was supposed to ask us if நம்மnamma · we wanted to supersize our drinks.

He reached over the counter and took Zofia’s handbag right out of her hand. He closed அதுadhu · it/that and then அவன்avan · he opened அதுadhu · it/that again. நான்naan · I think அவன்avan · he opened it the right way. நான்naan · I don’t think he ended up in the dark place. He சொன்னாங்கsonnaanga · said to என்னைennai · me and Zofia, “I’ll be right back.” And then he wasn’t there anymore. It was just என்னைennai · me and Zofia and the handbag, lying there on the counter where he’d dropped it.

If நான்naan · I’d been fast enough, நான்naan · I think நான்naan · I could have followed him. But Zofia had been guardian of the faery handbag for a lot longer. She snatched the bag back and glared at என்னைennai · me. “He’s a very bad boy,” அவava · she சொன்னாங்கsonnaanga · said. She was absolutely furious. “You’re better off without him, Genevieve, I think.”

“Give me the handbag,” நான்naan · I said. “I have to go get him.”

“It isn’t a toy, Genevieve,” அவava · she சொன்னாங்கsonnaanga · said. “It isn’t a game. This isn’t Scrabble. He comes back when அவன்avan · he comes back. If he comes back.”

“Give me the handbag,” நான்naan · I said. “Or I’ll take it from you.”

She held the handbag up high over her head, so அதுadhu · it/that நான்naan · I couldn’t reach it. நான்naan · I hate ஜனங்கjananga · people who are taller than என்னைennai · me. “What are நீnee · you going to do இப்பippa · now,” Zofia சொன்னாங்கsonnaanga · said. “Are நீnee · you going to knock me down? Are you going to steal the handbag? Are you going to போpo · go away and leave me இங்கinga · here to explain to your parents where you’ve gone? Are you going to say goodbye to your friends? When you வாvaa · come out again, அவங்கavanga · they will have gone to college. They’ll have jobs and babies and houses and they won’t even recognize you. Your mother will be an old woman and I will be dead.”

“நான்naan · I don’t care,” நான்naan · I சொன்னாங்கsonnaanga · said. நான்naan · I sat down on the sticky red carpet in the lobby and started to cry. Someone wearing a little metal name tag came over and asked if நம்மnamma · we were okay. His name was Missy. Or maybe அவன்avan · he was wearing someone else’s tag.

“We’re fine,” Zofia சொன்னாங்கsonnaanga · said. “My granddaughter has the flu.”

She took என்னோடennoda · my hand and pulled என்னைennai · me up. She put her arm around me and நம்மnamma · we walked out of the theater. We never even got to see the stupid movie. We never even got to see another movie together. நான்naan · I don’t ever வேணும்venum · want to போpo · go see another movie. The problem is, நான்naan · I don’t want to see unhappy endings. And I don’t தெரியும்theriyum · know if I believe in the happy ones.

“நான்naan · I have a plan,” Zofia சொன்னாங்கsonnaanga · said. “I will go find Jake. You will stay here and look after the handbag.”

“You won’t come back either,” நான்naan · I சொன்னாங்கsonnaanga · said. I cried even harder. Or if நீnee · you do, I’ll be like a hundred years old and Jake will still be sixteen.”

“Everything will be okay,” Zofia சொன்னாங்கsonnaanga · said. நான்naan · I wish நான்naan · I could tell நீnee · you how beautiful அவava · she looked right then. It didn’t matter if she was lying or if she actually knew அதுadhu · it/that everything was going to be okay. The important thing was how she looked when she said அதுadhu · it/that. She said, with absolute certainty, or maybe with எல்லாம்ellaam · all the skill of a very skillful liar, “My plan will work. First நம்மnamma · we போpo · go to the library, though. One of the ஜனங்கjananga · people under the hill just brought back an Agatha Christie mystery, and I need to return it.”

“We’re going to the library?” நான்naan · I சொன்னாங்கsonnaanga · said. “Why don’t நம்மnamma · we just போpo · go home and play Scrabble for a while.” You probably think நான்naan · I was just being sarcastic இங்கinga · here, and I was being sarcastic. But Zofia gave என்னைennai · me a sharp look. She knew அதுadhu · it/that if I was being sarcastic அதுadhu · it/that என்னோடennoda · my brain was working again. She knew that I knew அவava · she was stalling for time. She knew that I was coming up with my own plan, which was a lot like Zofia’s plan, except that I was the ஒண்ணுonnu · one who went into the handbag. How was the part I was working on.

“We could do அதுadhu · it/that,” she said. “Remember, when நீnee · you don’t know what to do, it never hurts to play Scrabble. It’s like reading the நான்naan · I Ching or tea leaves.”

“Can we please just hurry?” நான்naan · I said.

Zofia just looked at என்னைennai · me. “Genevieve, நம்மnamma · we have plenty of time. If நீnee · you’re going to look after the handbag, you have to remember அதுadhu · it/that. You have to be patient. Can you be patient?”

“நான்naan · I can try,” நான்naan · I told her. நான்naan · I’m trying, Zofia. I’m trying really hard. But அதுadhu · it/that isn’t fair. Jake is off having adventures and talking to talking animals, and who knows, learning how to fly and some beautiful three thousand year old girl from under the hill is teaching him how to speak fluent Baldeziwurleki. I bet அவava · she lives in a வீடுveedu · house அதுadhu · it/that runs around on chicken legs, and அவava · she tells Jake அதுadhu · it/that she’d love to hear him play something on the guitar. Maybe நீnee · you’ll kiss her, Jake, because she’s put a spell on நீnee · you. But whatever நீnee · you do, don’t போpo · go up into her வீடுveedu · house. Don’t fall asleep in her bed. Come back soon, Jake, and bring the handbag with you.

நான்naan · I hate those movies, those books, where some guy gets to போpo · go off and have adventures and meanwhile the girl has to stay home and wait. நான்naan · I’m a feminist. நான்naan · I subscribe to Bust magazine, and நான்naan · I watch Buffy reruns. I don’t believe in அதுadhu · it/that kind of shit.

We hadn’t been in the library for five minutes before Zofia picked up a biography of Carl Sagan and dropped அதுadhu · it/that in her purse. She was definitely stalling for time. She was trying to வாvaa · come up with a plan அதுadhu · it/that would counteract the plan that அவava · she knew நான்naan · I was planning. நான்naan · I wondered என்னenna · what அவava · she thought I was planning. It was probably much better than anything I’d come up with.

“Don’t do that!” நான்naan · I said.

“Don’t worry,” Zofia சொன்னாங்கsonnaanga · said. “Nobody was watching.”

“நான்naan · I don’t care if nobody saw! What if Jake’s sitting there in the boat, or what if he was coming back and நீnee · you just dropped அதுadhu · it/that on his head!”

“It doesn’t work அதுadhu · it/that way,” Zofia சொன்னாங்கsonnaanga · said. Then she said, “It would serve him right, anyway.”

That was when the librarian came up to us. She had a nametag on as well. நான்naan · I was so sick of people and their stupid nametags. I’m இல்லilla · not/no even going to tell நீnee · you what her name was. “I saw அதுadhu · it/that,” the librarian சொன்னாங்கsonnaanga · said.

“Saw என்னenna · what?” Zofia சொன்னாங்கsonnaanga · said. She smiled down at the librarian, like அவava · she was Queen of the Library, and the librarian were a petitioner.

The librarian stared hard at her. “நான்naan · I know நீnee · you,” அவava · she சொன்னாங்கsonnaanga · said, almost sounding awed, like she was a weekend birdwatcher who just seen Bigfoot. “We have your picture on the office wall. You’re Ms. Swinks. You aren’t allowed to check out books இங்கinga · here.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Zofia சொன்னாங்கsonnaanga · said. She was at least two feet taller than the librarian. நான்naan · I felt a bit sorry for the librarian. After எல்லாம்ellaam · all, Zofia had just stolen a seven-day book. She probably wouldn’t return அதுadhu · it/that for a hundred years. My mother has always made அதுadhu · it/that clear that it’s என்னோடennoda · my job to protect other ஜனங்கjananga · people from Zofia. நான்naan · I guess நான்naan · I was Zofia’s guardian before I became the guardian of the handbag.

The librarian reached up and grabbed Zofia’s handbag. She was small but அவava · she was strong. She jerked the handbag and Zofia stumbled and fell back against a work desk. நான்naan · I couldn’t believe அதுadhu · it/that. Everyone except for என்னைennai · me was getting a look at Zofia’s handbag. What kind of guardian was நான்naan · I going to be?

“Genevieve,” Zofia சொன்னாங்கsonnaanga · said. She held என்னோடennoda · my hand very tightly, and நான்naan · I looked at her. She looked wobbly and pale. She said, “I feel very bad about all of இதுidhu · this. Tell your mother I said so.”

Then she said one last thing, but நான்naan · I think அதுadhu · it/that was in Baldeziwurleki.

The librarian சொன்னாங்கsonnaanga · said, “நான்naan · I saw நீnee · you put a book in இங்கinga · here. Right இங்கinga · here.” She opened the handbag and peered inside. Out of the handbag came a long, lonely, ferocious, utterly hopeless scream of rage. நான்naan · I don’t ever வேணும்venum · want to hear அதுadhu · it/that noise again. Everyone in the library looked up. The librarian made a choking noise and threw Zofia’s handbag away from her. A little trickle of blood came out of her nose and a drop fell on the floor. What நான்naan · I thought at first was அதுadhu · it/that அதுadhu · it/that was just plain luck அதுadhu · it/that the handbag was closed when it landed. Later on நான்naan · I was trying to figure out என்னenna · what Zofia சொன்னாங்கsonnaanga · said. My Baldeziwurleki isn’t very நல்லாnallaa · good, but I think அவava · she was saying something like “Figures. Stupid librarian. I have to போpo · go take care of that damn dog.” So maybe that’s என்னenna · what happened. Maybe Zofia sent part of herself in there with the skinless dog. Maybe அவava · she fought it and won and closed the handbag. Maybe அவava · she made friends with it. I mean, அவava · she used to feed it popcorn at the movies. Maybe she’s still in there.

What happened in the library was Zofia sighed a little and closed her eyes. நான்naan · I helped her sit down in a chair, but நான்naan · I don’t think அவava · she was really there any more. நான்naan · I rode with her in the ambulance, when the ambulance finally showed up, and நான்naan · I swear நான்naan · I didn’t even think about the handbag until என்னோடennoda · my mother showed up. நான்naan · I didn’t say a word. I just left her there in the hospital with Zofia, who was on a respirator, and I ran எல்லாம்ellaam · all the way back to the library. But அதுadhu · it/that was closed. So I ran எல்லாம்ellaam · all the way back again, to the hospital, but நீnee · you already தெரியும்theriyum · know என்னenna · what happened, right? Zofia died. I hate writing அதுadhu · it/that. My tall, funny, beautiful, book-stealing, Scrabble-playing, story-telling grandmother died.

But நீnee · you never met her. You’re probably wondering about the handbag. What happened to அதுadhu · it/that. நான்naan · I put up signs எல்லாம்ellaam · all over town, like Zofia’s handbag was some kind of lost dog, but nobody ever called.

So அதுadhu · it/that’s the story so far. Not அதுadhu · it/that நான்naan · I expect நீnee · you to believe any of it. Last night Natalie and Natasha came over and நம்மnamma · we played Scrabble. They don’t really like Scrabble, but அவங்கavanga · they feel like it’s their job to cheer என்னைennai · me up. நான்naan · I won. After அவங்கavanga · they went home, நான்naan · I flipped எல்லாம்ellaam · all the tiles upside-down and then I started picking them up in groups of seven. I tried to ask a question, but it was hard to pick just ஒண்ணுonnu · one. The words I got weren’t so great either, so I decided that they weren’t English words. They were Baldeziwurleki words.

Once நான்naan · I decided அதுadhu · it/that, everything became perfectly clear. First நான்naan · I put down “kirif” which means “happy news”, and then நான்naan · I got a “b,” an “o,” an “l,” an “e,” a “f,” another “i,” an “s,” and a “z.” So then நான்naan · I could make “kirif” into “bolekirifisz,” which could mean “the happy result of a combination of diligent effort and patience.”

நான்naan · I would find the faery handbag. The tiles சொன்னாங்கsonnaanga · said so. நான்naan · I would work the clasp and போpo · go into the handbag and have என்னோடennoda · my own adventures and would rescue Jake. Hardly any time would have gone by before நம்மnamma · we came back out of the handbag. Maybe I’d even make friends with அதுadhu · it/that poor dog and get to say goodbye, for real, to Zofia. Rustan would show up again and be really sorry அதுadhu · it/that அவன்avan · he’d missed Zofia’s funeral and இதுidhu · this time he would be brave enough to tell my mother the whole story. He would tell her that he was her father. Not that அவava · she would believe him. Not that நீnee · you should believe இதுidhu · this story. Promise என்னைennai · me that நீnee · you won’t believe a word.